May your backhair be shaved by an angry otter

Monday, January 26, 2015

Random 1d30 Table: What's in the Burial Urn?

Did this as part of a contribution to Gmilk's metadungeon community project and thought I would also post it here:


What's in the Burial Urn? (1d30)

1. Desiccated organs.

2. Mummy cat; if removed from jar, will attack [HD 2, AC 7 [10], Atk 2/1 (2 claws or 1 bite), Dmg 1d6/1d6/1d6 + Save vs. Paralysis]

3. Mummified dog head too large to be removed through urn opening. Will open eyes and bark or snarl if poked or prodded. If urn is smashed, the head will immediately turn to dust.

4. Dried Chick Peas.

5. Pomegranate seeds covering a bronzed statue of a hideous beast with the body of a wolfhound and six snarling, snake-like heads. If removed from the urn, it will spring to life and attack the PCs unless its command word is spoken. Its command word is carved on its underbelly in ancient Arkanian ("umamanan", roughly translated as "holy bastard, heel!"). If brought under command, it will serve its owner until the statue is destroyed [HD 9, AC 5, Atk 2/6 (claws / 6 bites), Dmg 1d6/1d8 per bite + Save vs. Poison]

6. Desiccated mummy cat; inside the cat is a desiccated mummy mouse; inside the mummy mouse is a mummy flea (treat as rot grub + Save vs. Paralysis or be paralyzed within 1d6 turns).

7. Dried figs. Eating at least 3 figs grants 1d4 hit point recovery; eating more than 6 figs results in 1d6 hit point loss.

8. Mice skulls. Some have been engraved with strange symbols. At the bottom of the urn is a small scrap of parchment with the rules to a game resembling zonk.

9. Teleportation urn. Anyone opening the urn will be immediately teleported to the Minor Plane of Ash & Woe, where the remains of the cremated dead swirl and wail in the winds of desiccation.

10. 1,245 sp, covered in Yellow Mold.

11. The entire urn is filled with an infinite coiled strand of goblin finger bones linked with thin copper wire. The urn can never be emptied and will accept nothing but the strand of bones.

12. Empty; the urn continually emits extremely loud moans and groans of sexual ecstasy unless filled to the brim and stoppered.

13. 3 baby skeletons. Will animate and crawl out of urn, wailing and crying out for mama [1/2 HP, AC 11, Atk 0].

14. 1d30 zombie asps [HD 1d6hp; AC 5[14]; Atk 1 bite (1hp + lethal poison + disease]

15. Mummified Hand of Anvec the Damned; will immediately leap out of urn and attempt to meld to the top or back of the head of a character. If successful (75% chance), it will act as a symbiotic parasite, granting its host a +3 INT bonus and the ability to Animate Dead and Speak with Dead at will. After 1d12 days, the PC suffers a permanent alignment shift to Chaotic and is compelled to seek out the remaining parts of Anvec that might be scattered through the realms. The hand can only be removed by a cleric of at least 20th level casting Remove Curse or a 18th level magic user casting Symbol of Death directly on the Hand. If a magic user attempts the removal, there is a 15% chance that the hand will suddenly shift location at the last second.

16. Empty, but looking directly into the urn results in overwhelming feelings of nausea and despair. PC must make a Save vs. Sanity or suffer a –3 to WIS for 1d8 days.

17. Dried pumpkin seeds. Buried in the seeds is an oblong tri-dimensional communicator with a half-full battery. Turning it on sends a distress signal to the planet Abbith, where the metallic brains keep Nyarlthotep imprisoned in a kingdom under the ice.

18. Beams of Continual Light burst forth from the urn's mouth.

19. 1d20 Hands of Glory packed in olive oil.

20. Giant Bee Honey. 1 spoonful grants 1d8 hp recovery if Save vs. Poison is successful; otherwise, 1d8 hp poisoning effect.

21. 25 feet of tightly packed, rotted hemp rope. If removed from urn, it will act as a strangle vine and attempt to entangle and choke the nearest PC. Can only be harmed by magical or silver weapons [HD 4, AC 6[13], Atk. 3 (1d6) + strangulation].

22. Face-up gorgon head. Save vs. Paralysis or permanently turn to stone.

23. A post-apocalyptic bottle city; this one, in fact, completely inhabited by weird mutants.

24. Finely ground mealworm flour. 1 serving of hardtack made with this flour results serves as an extended iron ration; the PC does not feel hunger and has no need to eat for two weeks. However, PCs also suffer –3 to all CON checks during this time.

25. Semi-dehydrated hibernating rot grubs. Dousing them with water awakens them.

26. The entire inside of the urn is inscribed with a now-useless Arkanian summoning spell for Dramonloteltpish, a demon prince who was supposedly destroyed in some minor and now forgotten war.

27. Empty, but is an Urn of Holding, capable of holding up to 500 incorporeal undead (phantoms, ghosts, shadows, etc.).

28. Empty, but a familiar voice continually calls out "Can you hear me? Are you there? Somebody help me! Help! Please!" every time the urn is open.

29. The PC opening the urn is immediately reduced to 1/32 normal size and sucked into the urn, which then self-stoppers; the PC retains a shrunken size if removed from the urn until a 12th level cleric or magic user casts Remove Curse on the PC.

30. Dried raspberries.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Four Alchemist Recipes for Your OSR Game

Four Alchemist Recipes for Your OSR Game

I've been surfing Wikipedia this morning and came up with a few useful things that I twisted for gaming.

For pricing, I've followed the Swords & Wizardry guideline that the price of creation is 50 gp per day of formulation. I've then added in a 450 gp mark-up for the market price. Obviously, you may want to adjust this for your own campaigns.

The following is considered Open Game Content:

Thursday, January 15, 2015

How About Another Community Project?

Hacking Clue Through the Ages

The adventurers stumble upon a decrepit four-story mansion that has been divided into four 1-floor apartment suites with similar floor plans. Stairs in the middle of the first apartment lead to the upper stories. The registered residents of floors 1, 2, & 3 are familiar with each other, but tend to keep to their separate floors. What will they find?

Monday, January 12, 2015

D&D Character Background Generator

Trust me, you want to click this link: